Just turned 20 recently. Feeling super old. Start to think about where am i gonna be after 10 years. Found the right guy? Get married? found a stable job? What would i achieve in my 20s? There are so many thoughts going through my mind right now.
I think your 20s are the hardest part of life. I mean, everyone goes on about how hard it is to be a teenager, but actually I think it’s tougher to be in your 20s because you’re expected to be a grownup and expected to earn your own living and be successful and I think you feel like a kid still.- Nigel Col
Yea, i guess it's even harder to be in 20s. The good thing about being a teen is that we don't have to worry about money, relationship or anything(maybe studies). My teenage life is boring af. I never dated anyone since i study at a Malay high school. I never go yumcha with friends until midnight. There are a lot of things that i never tried at that time. All i do was basically just study and watch tv. Things got a lil bit better during my college life. Got to hang out with friends, sleepover and travel together.
Till now, i never get into a relationship. In fact, i don't know anything about it. That's quite sad i know. I hate it when friends start to talk about relationship and i'm here like' don't ask me i got nothing to tell'. The people around me at least had their first relationship before. That's a sad story.
I do have friends whom i can share my feelings with but i found out that as i grow older, i like to keep everything to myself. I got a diary app in my phone. Every time when i got angry or frustrated, i will just write it down in the diary and find myself stupid about how i get emotional about those small lil things. Maybe because of that, i don't have a really really close friend.
What we always say, 知足常乐 which means that we should always satisfied of what we already had. However, i failed to do that. I always wanted to study abroad. How i wish i can study in Australia like how others did. But i think that's not gonna happen. Studying abroad need tons of money but i am not born with a silver spoon. Thinking of getting loan or anything that can provide me the financial support. But the interest is pretty high. What if i don't get a job? What if i can't pay it back? Life with debt is awful. I don't want my parents worry about my studies. Hopefully i can come out with a solution soon if not i will just stay in Malaysia.
Let's pray hard that 2016 is gonna be an amazing year. Everything is going smoothly.
Till the next time.
